


Sakuma-san, I Want Green Apples, Now.

by sodenoshirayuki_23



Category: Joker Game (Anime)
Genre: Before you lose it please read the notes, Crack, Humour, I'm Sorry, Kaminaga is his only supporter, M/M, Miyoshi and Sakuma are married, Mpreg, Tazaki is a self-proclaimed magician, bc why not, just for fun, oocness incoming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 05:34:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7347196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodenoshirayuki_23/pseuds/sodenoshirayuki_23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miyoshi and Sakuma had been married for a year. The latter sees that Miyoshi isn't too fond of kids, but he wanted to adopt children.</p><p>He goes to their friends for some advice.</p><p>"He just doesn't like kids, give it up."</p><p>"Unless there is any chance for him to 'have' the kid. Surely, Miyoshi will like a mirror image of himself."</p><p>"That's impossible."</p><p>"Sakuma-san, nothing is impossible with magic."</p><p>"Yeah, right. Thanks, Tazaki."</p><p>•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••</p><p>"Holy Shit."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sakuma-san, I Want Green Apples, Now.

**Author's Note:**

> I know more than anyone else that this idea is so out of place in this fandom. But just let me.  
> *cries a river*
> 
> No harm intended whatsoever to the characters so please calm down. 
> 
> The italics are:  
> (1) It's Sakuma's thoughts.  
> (2) It's emphasized at how it's said if it's a dialogue.
> 
> I hope you enjoy till the end!

They were just out to buy some groceries. Although somehow, they ended up in this situation.

 

"What's 1000-7?"

 

Sakuma closed his eyes as a hidden facepalm when he saw Miyoshi crouching down to talk to a lost kid.

 

"I don't know!" The kid's eyes are full of unshed tears warning to fall anytime. "Please help me find my mom!"

 

"I will." Miyoshi assures him, the kid almost smiles but Miyoshi continues, "If you manage to answer my question."

 

Sakuma grimaced the same as the kid contorted his face into a crying one. The adult immediately ran and crouched down eye-to-eye to face the child. 

 

"Hi!" He catches the kid's attention before he can cry, "Do you know where you live?"

 

The kid shakes his head.

 

He can hear Miyoshi sigh heavily, "Sakuma-san. If he did, he wouldn't cry like--"

 

"Then," His voice loud enough for Miyoshi to halt, but he silently prayed to the gods that whatever punishment he'll receive later for silencing his husband can guarantee his safety. "Then this kind gentleman," He sends a side glance to Miyoshi. "..and I will help you find your mom."

 

"Who said I agree--"

 

" _You_.." Sakuma thought lf what color of roses he'd like in his funeral because he'll surely die tonight for trying to overpower Miyoshi. "..You just have to remember what she looks like and where you last saw her. Okay?"

 

The kid halts his possibility to cry and nods obediently. Sakuma smiles as he stands up and offers his hand to the child. Miyoshi stands up too.

 

"Let's go?" Ever so gently, Sakuma addressed the child.

The kid extends his little hand to clasp with Sakuma's big ones.

 

They started to walk and ask around for the mother in accordance with the child's description.

 

On hindsight, Sakuma continues to think of whether or not to invite Hatano and the others on his supposed funeral.

 

Soon, they found the mother and she thanked them sincerely. As the mother and her child are in a heartfelt reunion, Sakuma steals a glance at his husband. Miyoshi wasn't particularly showing any real emotion aside from his masked smile to the woman. But Sakuma knows better.

 

It's his last night tonight.

 

_So much for this life. Forgive me, mother and father._

 

••••

_"Sakuma-san."_

 

The moment they reached their house, mansion that they both worked hard for, Sakuma knows he wouldn't have enough of what Miyoshi will say or will do. It all depends on the latter's mood.

 

"Miyoshi. Treating the kid like Kareki isn't going to help him."

 

"Kaneki."

 

"Kane--fine. Whatever it is. That was...rude of you."

 

"Excuse me? _Rude?_ I was merely seeing to what lengths the child is willing to go through _if_ he really wanted to see his mother. What I did is just a practice. He needs to know not everything is free and exchange is needed."

 

Sakuma resisted the urge to sigh. "Miyoshi, the child isn't a _spy_  or anything. _"_ He approaches the addressed man who turns his back to him. He moved with urgency to catch Miyoshi's wrist gently and wrap his firm hands on his waist. " _Neither_ are you." Sakuma brushes his lips on Miyoshi's ear, and then kissing his nape. "You are just my beautiful husband."

 

Miyoshi rolls his eyes as he swats Sakuma's hand away and he breaks free. "Just?"

 

_Oh no, I've done it._

 

"Darling," Sakuma used his most sincere voice. He really is sincere on ending this useless conversation and make love to Miyoshi. Not until he convinces him to drop it all. He knows Miyoshi won't. "..I said you're my beautiful husband and all you heard is 'just'..?"

 

"The beautiful part is true." 

 

" _Can_ I retract what I said then, honey?" Sakuma uses his pleading eyes. 

 

Miyoshi stands there, staring at him as if calculating him.

 

He smiles as he waves a hand, "Fine. I'll let it go tonight since you called me that, but.." Miyoshi carefully approaches Sakuma, and pulls on his collar so the man is now lowering his head. He smiles to himself when he heard Sakuma stiffle a gasp. He whispers on the taller man's ear, "..there is _another way_ to make me forget about this just for tonight."

 

Miyoshi pulls away and bats his eyelashes playfully. Sakuma gulps, he knows what Miyoshi meant. 

 

With a swift action, he scoops the shorter man on his hand and places him on the bed. He follows above him. 

 

••••

 

Sakuma wakes up and glances a look at the elegant clock on their wall that Miyoshi choose himself. 

 

It's three in the morning.

 

 _Three hours after we had sex,_ Sakuma sighs. He looks to his side to stare at Miyoshi's sleeping figure. He looks so peaceful that it made Sakuma smile. He reaches out to gently push away the stray bangs covering his husband's pretty face. 

He retreats his hand and rests it on Miyoshi's bare shoulder, caressing the soft skin affectionately.

 

After minutes of adoring his beautiful husband, Sakuma stares at their ceiling.

 

_Interesting ceiling. So is Miyoshi as a mother._

 

He wanted to punch himself.

 

_Why did I think of that?_

 

Miyoshi _dislikes_ kids. The event today strengthened that. But Sakuma has always wanted a family of his own. He wants to have kids, not necessarily his for he doesn't want any woman, or just anyone. He wanted Miyoshi.  He wanted to raise a family with Miyoshi and Miyoshi only. He loves him.

 

Sakuma sighs for the umpteenth time. 

 

_How can I make him agree to adopt?_

 

With those thoughts filling his mind, he falls asleep.

 

••••

 

"So,  what's the problem,  Sakuma-san? You didn't come here for nothing,  no?" Jitsui, who's standing by the counter,  pours a cup of alcohol for him.

Jitsui is right,  He wouldn't come all the way from his work to Jitsui's shop.  His one hour break from work isn't for nothing. 

Sakuma mouths a "thanks" before gulping some contents with urgency.  Hatano, who's lazily sitting beside Jitsui, raises an eyebrow. As if cue for Sakuma to say what he wanted to.

 

"I want to adopt kids...but Miyoshi doesn't seem to like kids.." 

 

Jitsui and Hatano, for the first time as Sakuma thought, actually looked flabbergasted. 

 

"Oh?" Jitsui's lips quirks up as he gets back to pour another drink.  Sakuma waves his hand and Jitsui halts.  

"No, thanks.  One drink is enough." 

 

The bartender nods and proceeds to put the bottle down. 

 

"That is quite troublesome then." Jitsui takes a seat beside Hatano and grabs the latter's hand.  Sakuma noticed that Hatano didn't mind.  They are,  after all,  going out. 

 

"Miyoshi hates kids." Hatano comments. 

 

"I know,  I just--"

 

"He just doesn't like kids.   _Give it up."_ The shorter man didn't bother to let Sakuma finish.  The latter nods several times as if to agree to Hatano and proceeds to take a sip of his remaining drink. 

 

"Is there any chance for him to...get pregnant? Surely, Miyoshi will love a splitting image of his own." 

 

A new voice is all it took for Sakuma nearly spits all contents on the counter. Jitsui actually looked amused on his shocked expression but hands him a tissue.

 

He immediately regained his composure and grabs the tissue to wipe his suit and the table.  He glares at the newly-arrived from the counter; Fukumoto. 

 

"That's _impossible,_  Fukumoto.  Even Emma knows that." Amari arrives at the scene, completely unnoticed by Sakuma. 

 

_What is with these people._

 

"Even Emma what--" Sakuma was interrupted by Hatano.  "Yeah,  it is impossible. Sakuma just _hopes_ it works."

 

Sakuma wanted to get swallowed by the ground.  Hatano read his mind.  Actually, they all read his mind. Considering he did think of the idea of Miyoshi being a mother is nice.  But _getting pregnant and actually bearing a child_ was beyond his expectation.

 

 

He needs one week vacation from these people.  

 

"Sakuma-san,  nothing is impossible with magic."

 

He didn't need to turn to the door to know who have just arrived. Now it's Tazaki.

 

 _Where do these people come from suddenly?_  

 

"Excuse me?" Sakuma did turn to address the man, only to see Kaminaga behind him as well,  waving at them.

 

"Yo, we heard the whole conversation." Kaminaga starts, his voice loud. "So,  you want Miyoshi to get pregnant, although he's a guy?" 

 

Sakuma looks around the shop to check if anyone is actually paying attention.  But no, there is only an old man and an old woman at the back. He thanked the heavens before sending an "you're unbelievable" look at Kaminaga, who seems to be doing this on purpose. 

 

"What?" Kaminaga smirks,  "Sakuma-san. You want to _impregnate your husband_ and you came here to _ask for some of our advice_ , yeah?"

 

The old woman turned her head towards them.  

 

Sakuma wanted to die.  

 

It's the old woman who's their neighbor and also the one always greets him good morning. 

 

He sends a pleading look for Kaminaga to keep it down. Thankfully,  the latter shrugs and drags Tazaki to an empty seat beside Sakuma. 

 

"Sakuma-san,  Miyoshi will get pregnant. By magic."

 

Sakuma's mental capacity just told him to nod and agree to whatever Tazaki will say. He had enough of this _shit_.

"Yeah,  yeah!  Tazaki is right!" Kaminaga supported his lover. 

 

He also had enough of Kaminaga's _"Tazaki is right"_  shit.

 

"Yeah,   _thanks_ Tazaki. I'm leaving." He gulps his remaining drink and acts to leave when Tazaki grabs his hand. 

 

"Uhm--"

 

Sakuma paused when Tazaki held a card in front of him.  It's the Queen card. 

 

"Okay.  So,  what will I do with this?"

 

"Place this in front of Miyoshi's stomach, and circle it three times and firmly believe he'll get pregnant." Sakuma could hear snickers and hidden laughter among the crowd before him. Jitsui smiles innocently,  Hatano is smirking,  Amari hides his face via a newspaper.  Fukumoto isn't even laughing but his eyes show amusement. Odagiri, who Sakuma also didn't notice was there all allng, is silently sipping his drink. Kaminaga's shoulder is shaking from trying to stiffle his laughter.

"Don't worry,  I _believe_ him." Kaminaga assures him.

 

"..It _has_ my magic blessings." Tazaki continued. 

 

"Uh,  yeah. Thanks.  I will." Sakuma grabs the card and leaves money on the counter before dashing out of the place. 

 

 

 

"That's absurd.." Sakuma tells himself over and over again at work. 

 

••••

 

"Sakuma-san,  what are you doing?"

 

Miyoshi raises an annoyed eyebrow at Sakuma who's now looking like an idiot encircling the card on his stomach for three times now. 

 

"Nothing."

 

••••

 

Weeks have passed since that god-forsaken night he actually attempted what Tazaki said.  

 

He's now at office,  working his ass off for the both of them when his phone rang. 

 

 

Jitsui's name is flashing on it. 

 

Which is unusual because Jitsui never called him.  Among them,  only Tazaki texts him and it's always "Want to see a magic trick?" which Sakuma replies with a constant "No, Thank you."

More often than Tazaki is Kaminaga texting him, updating him about his and Tazaki's sex life.  Sakuma did thought of changing numbers but they always,  always find a way to know his number.

 

Sakuma sighs,  and opens the message. 

 

 ***

**AT & T.               1:37PM.             67%**

**Jitsui**

 

Sakuma-san.  Get over here.  Miyoshi is throwing up. He might just be pregnant. 

 ***

Mixed emotions fills up his mind for many reasons.  One,  Jitsui might be joking and two,  Jitsui _never_ jokes. If he does,  it's the _apocalypse._  Three, guys **_CAN'T_** be pregnant. 

 

Sakuma knew this is for a prank regarding weeks ago. 

 

_Damn it._

 

He tosses his phone away and gets back to work. He can focus on working, IF his cellphone didn't ring. 

 

Jitsui's name is flashing. 

 

 _What the_. 

 

He grabs it and answers it. 

 

"Hello?!" He made sure he sounded quite irritated at the sudden call. 

 

_"Sakuma-san!"_

 

It's Kaminaga. 

He hangs up. 

 

The phone rings again not long after. 

 

 _"Sakuma-san."_ This time,  It's Jitsui.

 

"I'm working.  Please,  I don't have time for jokes--"

 

 _"Hear this."_ Was all he heard until someone spoke up. 

 

 _"Sakuma-san._.." The voice sounded so weak, and so vulnerable but Sakuma immediately recognized whom it belong to. 

 

Miyoshi. 

 

"Miyoshi!? What's wrong!?" Sakuma stands up fast,  alarming his co-workers.  He mouthed an apology, but his mind focused on his husband on the phone. 

 

_"Jitsui and Hatano came over to give us some curry since they ordered a lot than needed. You know it's my favorite. But when I ate it..I--bluuurrghh"_

Sakuma's eyes widened at the sound of Miyoshi helplessly puking at god knows why.

 

"Miyo--"

 

_"Don't worry. We're here. But get home now.  We have to have him checked up."_

 

Sakuma never drove so fast from a work before. 

 

_Did it work!?! Impossible!_

 

••••

 

"Congratulations,  you're going to be a father!"

 

Sakuma, just arrived from work,  stands by the door of the masters bedroom. He sees Miyoshi,  lying on the bed looking so weak and pale.  Hatano looks confused as fuck. And..there's another one who seems to be a doctor.

 

 _Who the hell is this_. 

 

As if reading what he said,  Jitsui speaks up. "He's Gamou. A friend who _owes_ me up from high school.  He's a doctor."

 

The said Gamou guy flinched,  but he smiles and offers his hand.

"Ah,  nice to meet you.  I am Gamou. _Jitsui's friend."_

 

_Or Jitsui's punching bag from high school.  Sakuma didn't know why he guessed that._

 

"Likewise. I'm Sakuma." He takes Gamou's offer and shakes their hands. Then he eyes Miyoshi, "His husband."

 

"Oh, yes." Gamou gently withdraws his hand and explains further. 

 

"For some _..reason,_  Miyoshi-san is _three-weeks  pregnant. S_ cience itself can't explain but..congratulations!"

 

No one in the room looked happy,  but Jitsui and Jitsui only. The rest is confused as fuck. Sakuma takes that 94% from that confused as fuck.

 

••••

 

"Sakuma-san,  kill that spider." 

 

A month as passed since Miyoshi was declared pregnant and also the same time Sakuma has had a decent sleep. 

 

His husband seems to be more demanding than ever. 

 

"Eh?" Sakuma stares at Miyoshi. The latter raises an eyebrow,  "I won't repeat myself."

 

"I know," Sakuma continues, "But usually you let them be since they do you no harm anyway--"

 

 _Wait,  could he be scared of a spider?_  

 

Sakuma gulps at that impossible thought. But the mere thought of his husband..Of Miyoshi actually getting scared excites him. Nothing scares Miyoshi. 

 

Sakuma grabs a shoe, ready to hit the spider.

 

_He's being so--_

 

"..Actually, go burn it in the process."

 

_\--so sadistic._

 

"Miyoshi, spiders are still animals, that's--"

 

"No!" Kaminaga pops up, shielding where the spider is. "What did the spider ever do to you!?!"

 

 _Oh,  right.  Kaminaga likes animals._ Sakuma remembers. But for some _unknown reasons,_ Kaminaga _despises_ pigeons. Yes, _despises._

 

Why Kaminaga is here, is because each of them agreed to Sakuma's plead that one of them help him every month.  He doesn't know what to do and how to do things regarding a _demanding,  narcissist and sadistic pregnant man._

"Sakuma-san, you can burn Kaminaga with it."

 

 _Holy shit_. 

 

••••

 

"Sakuma-san,  I want green apples."

 

"It's two in the morning."

 

_"I. Want. Green. Apples. Now."_

 

"Yes,  sir."

 

Sakuma remembered what Jitsui(who seems to be so fond of Miyoshi which was never before.)  said that he needs to comply to whatever Miyoshi says.  Not only because it's Miyoshi they're talking about,  but also because a pregnant human's wishes should be accomplished. Or the baby will be unwell. 

 

_Well,  green apples are good for pregnancy._

 

Two-twenty in the morning,  and he walked to the nearest store that's still open.

 

 

••••

 

A few more weeks, and Sakuma notices Miyoshi spending more time in front of the mirror than _usual._

 

He spends _half a day_ staring himself. Particularly his stomach.

 

That swell that's been growing ever since makes Miyoshi's usual tight clothes a no no. He wears Sakuma's big shirts but it still doesn't stop the obviousness forming; that cute circle that makes his clothes stretch. Miyoshi frowns at it but Sakuma thinks _it's cute._ Both Miyoshi and the baby growing inside of him. 

 

••••

 

Seven months into his pregnancy.

 

"Where will the baby come out?  Is it really from the ass? Won't that hurt?" 

 

Sakuma never saw Miyoshi send a death glare at anyone like how he glared at Kaminaga. 

 

"I wonder about that,  too." Hatano agrees nonchalantly. This time,  Jitsui glares at his lover. 

 

_Wow,  Jitsui sure loves the baby growing inside my husband._

 

Miyoshi stands up, throws a book at both Kaminaga and Hatano, before walking out and slamming the door loudly. 

 

Despite his husband being angry,  Sakuma can't help but chuckle at how cute pregnant Miyoshi is; the way he tries to look angry and his other simple sadistic antics.

 

_Wait,  does that mean I'm a masochist--_

"Dude, _you're_ a masochist." Hatano breaks the silence. 

 

"I don't want to hear _that_ from you."

 

••••

 

 "Sakuma-san, do you still love me?"

 

Miyoshi's question made Sakuma raise an eyebrow this time.  He's too tired from work but yes,  he's never tired of Miyoshi. It has almost been nine months, after all.

 

"Yes,  what made you think otherwise?" Sakuma turns to the side and stares at his husband who's on the bed beside him. 

 

Miyoshi closes his eyes, and speaks up,  "Am I still attractive?"

 

Sakuma blinks multiple times,  and chuckles. 

 

He swears he saw Miyoshi blush and look away. "This isn't a laughing matter,  Sakuma-san. I'm being serious."

 

"Sorry,  sorry." Sakuma tries to stop laughing but ends up snorting,  "You're just so cute."

 

Miyoshi blushed further and grabs a pillow to hit his husband.  Sakuma lets him. After pillow-hitting Sakuma, Miyoshi turns to the other side.  Sakuma smiles at how cute his husband looks right now.

 

_He was always worried for his appearance, but he agreed to keep the baby..for me._

 

He tosses the pillow aside and stares at Miyoshi's back.

 

 

Ever so lovingly, he scoots closer and wraps his hand on Miyoshi. 

"Miyoshi," He begins with the most calming and caring voice he has, "You are attractive. Even if you wear any trash--"

 

 

"What trash--"

 

 

"--Which you won't.. I will still marry you."

 

 

"Sakuma-san--" Miyoshi slowly turns to face him.

 

"The point is,  no matter what you'll look like.. I will still love you as much as I did when I first fell in love with you."

"..."

"The child growing inside you is, yours.." Sakuma reaches for Miyoshi's hand, "..and mine. So I will also love it. The process of the child being born, I love it all the way too, okay?"

 

Miyoshi's lips quirks up, Sakuma could see happiness reflected on his eyes. "Was Sakuma-san always this romantic?"

 

Sakuma smiles, "Aren't I always?"

 

••••

 

And thus, the splitting image of Miyoshi and Sakuma was born. Emma was more than happy to have a little brother.

 

 ••••

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sakuma jolts awake at the dream he just had. Panting heavily, he places his hand on his face, not knowing how to react.

 

Miyoshi sits up, and stares at him.

 

"I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" Sakuma closes his eyes tightly and shots them open to gaze at Miyoshi.

 

"No. What's wrong?"

 

"I just," Sakuma gulps, an awkward smile forming on his lips, "I just had a very weird--"

 

"Nightmare?"

 

"No, actually.." Sakuma looked amused, " _..It was a very interesting dream_..."

 

••••

 

"Miyoshi, would it be alright if you carry our child?"

 

"Pardon?"

 

"If you get preg..mnnnannffh"

 

"What?"

 

"..if you get..preg..nant.."

 

"Excuse me? Me? Pregnant?"

 

"It's just a dream I had. Nevermind it, please--"

 

"No, I _insist_."

 

"Miyoshi, please--"

 

 _"Sakuma-san,_ Tell me about it."

 

"...."

 

••••

 

"So, you're saying Sakuma-san _dreamed_ of you getting pregnant?" Kaminaga mused, Jitsui seems interested.

 

"Yes. It is weird.." Miyoshi pauses as he smirks, "..But intriguing."

 

Hatano, Jitsui, and Kaminaga all looked at each other in surprise.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, it's up to you if what Miyoshi meant is (1)He agrees to adopt and raise kids or (2) If getting pregnant is possible, he'll agree.
> 
> Oh my god.
> 
> Tokyo Ghoul reference for the scene with 1000-7.
> 
> Also, for the reference of Miyoshi's favourite as curry. I based it from the art of closing party for Joker Game's episode 11, "Coffin".
> 
> http://sekinosemimaru.tumblr.com/post/145970129868/source-jga-closing-party-for-coffin-yuki
> 
> It's originally currywurst. But I figured curry would suit more for a lunch. Since Currywurst is a fast food dish of German origin.
> 
> I'll probably be shocked I wrote this by tomorrow.


End file.
